True Colors
by TheAfroCircus
Summary: William (Sherlock) is a closeted and not yet transitioned trans woman who wants to transition but lacks the support of those she cares about. She has given up all hope of ever being herself. That is, until she meets Jim Moriarty. A successful man that seems to be able to make all her dreams come true. Trans!Sherlock. Trans!Jim. (Sheriarty AU)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: ok hi I'm starting this story and I hope ppl like it.**

 **Summary:** **William (Sherlock) is a closeted and not yet transitioned trans woman who wants to transition but lacks the support of those she cares about. She has given up all hope of ever being herself. That is, until she meets Jim Moriarty. A successful man that seems to be able to make all her dreams come true. Trans!Sherlock. Trans!Jim. (Sheriarty AU)**

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 _You See Right Through Me._

William felt sick. She always felt sick. It never ended. Every moment she caught so much as a glimpse of her own reflection staring back at her, it was sickening. She _died_ both inside and also a bit more on the outside. She hated the way she looked, the way she sounded, how she was forced to carry herself.

She had always felt like a woman. She _was_ a bloody woman. Only her body did not reflect it. Nothing about her reflected it at the moment.

How she dreamed of being able to be herself. To be free of her cage. She did not want to be a man. She was not a man. She wanted breasts and long hair. She already kept her hair as long as she dared. Any longer than this and people would talk. _Idiots_.

She yearned to have curvature on her body. She wanted a clitoris and not this massive thing between her legs. She wanted a period. She wanted an endowed and striking man to be able to spread her and sink deep into her core. Not from behind and anally. _Vaginally_.

She was unsure whether or not she would have been able to bring a child into the world if she had been born cisgender. She was not the most nurturing person in the world but the dream of the situation gave her so much euphoria. Also her genetic code was very impressive. She would have carried beautiful children to term. It was a shame really.

William wanted to transition like the many others she had seen do so. Sadly she did not have the means nor support to do that. She was a consulting detective. The only one in the world. She observed many other transgender people in her line of work and also on the streets in her more darker years.

Many ended up happy, fully transitioned and living fulfilling lives as their true selves. However many unfortunate people ended up dead by suicide and murder or overdosing in drug dens from lack of support. She knew. She was very lucky to survive all three situations for as many different times as they happened. Her brother was to thank as much as she hated to admit it.

Mycroft knew about her desire to be a woman. He had advised her against it time and time again. He instructed her to wait. He said that the time wasn't yet right. Yet she had been waiting all of her lifetime now. She voiced her wishes long ago at age two. Nothing had changed since then.

It would probably never happen now. She would have to live her life as a man and die as one it seemed. How she wished she could speed up the latter of the two.

"William, are you alright?" John interrupted her train of self destructive thought.

William tore her eyes from what she had been staring at. A women's boutique with the most beautiful gowns. The way she stood in front of the window made it look as if the sequin dress was on her body in the reflective surface. It looked so _right._ Her pressed button down was suffocating and so very wrong...

"A woman?" asked John.

William's eyes widened and she snapped her head quickly towards John. She searched his eyes for recognition, hoping that finally someone understood or knew. "Pardon?"

"The suspect in these cases. Is it a woman? You're looking very hard at those gowns."

William breathed out a sigh, letting her eyes roam over the bright fabric once more before turning away. It would have been too easy and far too good to be true. John obviously suspected nothing about her true gender identity. He never would. "No." She said. "It is a man. It is always a man." She continued walking down the sidewalk.

Watson followed his best friend close behind, raising an eyebrow even though William couldn't see it. "Well why can't it be a woman?"

William clenched her jaw, staring straight ahead as she walked. "Sentiment." She told him.

John accepted that answer, knowing he was not going to get a more detailed one. He knew William like the back of his hand. Or so he thought.

As they walked through the streets of London, William wondered what it would be like not to live a lie. She would never have the fortune of knowing for sure. Or so she thought.

She went back to the case at hand. Her only source of distraction and peace of mind. A coping mechanism if you will. It was all she had to express herself in this world. It seemed as if that was all she would ever have...

William did not notice the handsome Irishman watching her with interest from across the street.

The stranger watched her until she disappeared into the busy London crowd with John desperately trying to keep up with her. Then the mystery man turned on his heel and entered the pharmacy to pick up his prescription of syringes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: TRIGGER WARNING for transphobia and unaccepting family and attempted suicide! Yo it really killed me to write this shit. Mycroft is a bitch. I made myself so angry lmaoo ugh**

* * *

 _True Colors._

"William, we have discussed this." Mycroft said sternly. "I have not forgotten about your request but now is not the time. Especially not with my upcoming recertification of my position in…"

William did not need to listen to the rest. She knew exactly what would happen now. Her brother would talk her down and talk over her. He would say that her 'decision' would hurt his government position. It would hurt mummy and father…

This is what he always said to her. He had been saying these things most of her life and William always listened. She went back to being closeted for another five years until she would again bring up her desire to transition.

Mycroft told her once again to give it a few more years to decide. That she had time and now was not it.

William stayed silent as usual as her brother talked down to her and dismissed her emotions. For someone who wanted her to stay a man, Mycroft sure treated her like an irrational woman.

She would not ask again, she told herself. She had wanted to know when she would be able to truly be herself and Mycroft gave her an unspoken answer. _Never._

William hoped her brother would forgive her for her own answer to this situation.

.

.

.

.

.

"William, you still here?" John called as he climbed the stairs to their flat. In his hand he held a jug of milk he had just bought from the store. He didn't know why his friend insisted that he immediately go get some milk in that exact moment. However it was not the weirdest thing he'd ever done for the eccentric man. "I've gotten the mi-"

William was hanging by his neck from one of the banisters.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"You have upset mummy very much, brother mine…" Mycroft stood at the end of the cot. He leaned forward on his umbrella. He gripped the handle tightly with clammy hands.

William said nothing at all. She stared out the window, not even looking at her brother. She had specifically asked for no visitors but she should have known Mycroft would undermine her like he always did. He never listened. No one listened to her.

"You are very lucky Doctor Watson got to you in time. Or else we would not be here having this discussion."

William did not feel lucky in the slightest. She felt very, very unlucky. Miserable even, angry as well. She planned to die and her plan was foiled.

Now she was here in the A&E of a high security institution in nothing but a flimsy gown, painfully aware of how her penis was sitting between her legs. She was untucked. They took her penis loose from its bindings. They _looked at_ and _touched_ it when she could hardly do it herself without wanting to vomit. She wished to cut it off. Perhaps she should try. Maybe after she did it she could slit her own throat as well. This was simply hopeful thinking on her part.

She did fail to commit suicide but she would not fail again. She could jump in front of a train or off of a tall building. Maybe shoot herself in the brain or heart. She had been taught all her life that both were cold and empty. It seemed fitting.

"Stop thinking _now_." Mycroft scolded. "You will not attempt this idiocy again."

"You have controlled my entire life but you will _not_ control my death." said William, voice low but firm. Her wishes would NOT he ignored any longer. She was absolutely sick of living for other people and by their wishes and not her own. It had to stop.

"We will not play this game, broth-"

"WRONG!" William shouted. "On all counts. This is not a game, I am certainly not playing and I am not your _brother_. I never have been. You know this...but you don't care. And I do not either. I will not live like this any longer, Mycroft!" She shouted.

The Holmes siblings turned their heads as there was a cough from the doorway. John Watson stood there, staring between the two but his gaze always landed back on William.

"I hope I'm not...interrupting…" John said quietly. His face looked drained of color and sick with worry.

William's heart sank as she saw the state of her best friend. She hadn't thought much of how John would react to her suicide. She figured he was better off without her and that he would just move on. She didn't want to see him hurt but she also didn't plan to be alive after the attempt obviously.

"You are, Doctor Watson. This is a private matter between my brother and I-"

"Sister." John said.

"Excuse me?" Mycroft narrowed his eyes, hoping he did not hear what he just heard.

"He-" John winced. "She...says she's your sister."

"This is a family matter and it does not concern you. William does not need encouragement in these delusions. Please escort yourself out." Mycroft turned his back to the doctor, expecting the man to leave.

"No. John stays." William said suddenly and very desperate. She has never had someone to support her gender identity. She never expected it to happen and she would cling to any validation she could get. Even if John looked confused and unsure. It was _something._

"He is not family, William, and he certainly does not know what is best for you." Her brother told her.

"If he accepts me then he is my _only_ family and he knows exactly what is best for me." William seethed. "You are the reason I'm here. Now, leave. I do not wish to speak to you any longer."

"Brother-" Mycroft started.

"I am your sister! Why don't you listen to me? I know what I am!" William cried out.

"Apparently you do not." said her brother. "You are a man, you will never be a woman, and with utmost certainty you will never be my sister."

"GET OUT!" William screamed hysterically. She picked up the nearest vase on her bedside and threw it right at Mycroft. Tears were streaming down her face.

The vase missed Mycroft's head by mere inches, shattering to pieces against the wall behind him.

Just as William was about to hurl another object, this time a glass pitcher, John rushed over and grabbed her wrists. He would certainly talk to the nurses about why the hell they put these dangerous objects in the room.

John hushed her softly, staring at her with sympathy. He took the pitcher away, setting it down and pulling her into his arms. As she sobbed into his shoulder, he looked at Mycroft in anger. "Leave. I won't have you upsetting hi- her like this."

"I am his family." Mycroft glared sternly. "You have _no jurisdiction_ in this matter in any way-"

"I'm a doctor and you are harassing a suicidal patient." John took on his professional doctor's tone. "This is definitely my jurisdiction and I am telling you to leave. Now."

The man lifted his umbrella, staring at Doctor Watson with a sour expression.

John turned away from him, turning the tables. Now he expected the man to leave. He waited, holding his broken friend in his arms. He heard footsteps disappear out the doorway and sighed in relief. He pulled back from...William (?)...and looked at...her.

"Look at me, Wi- um. Listen." John kicked himself for not seeing what was staring him right in the face. Everything made sense now and felt like an idiot. More importantly he felt like a very shitty friend. "You do know what you are, _who_ you are. No one can decide that for you. And I don't mind. My sister is a lesbian and while that is very different from what you are feeling, you should know that she went through the rejection and ignorance from our parents that, that gigantic cock is putting you through. I don't mind. I told you before that it was all fine. You're my best friend, I love you, I'm right by your side. This doesn't change what we have."

William stared at John with an unreadable expression. She never expected this. She was an idiot. Why did she think John would be like everyone else? She felt the tears coming again and yanked her flatmate down into another embrace. " _Thank you, thank you…_ " she said over and over.

John said nothing, only holding his friend close. He admits that he was a bit out of his depth but he would learn. He would do anything he could to make...William...feel comfortable. He would not let _her_ feel abandoned and alone. _She she she._ His friend was a lass. It would take some getting used to and he would make mistakes but he would listen and be there every step of the way. He would also make sure that Mycroft stayed far out of the way of whatever decisions William chose to make. Speaking of which…

John coughed awkwardly. "Wil- um Ms Holmes?" God he needed to Google search desperately. Read articles, books, get updated on the NHS and their studies. Perhaps he could find groups that they could both attend. First things first, however..

William looked up at John, blinking. She has never been called that. It was shocking but felt like _nirvana_. "Yes?" She felt her heart thumping, filling with a new found hope. It felt so amazing to be addressed properly.

"What would you like to be called now that- now?"

William blinked some more, her brow furrowing in thought. "Wilma." She said. "Wilma Sheryl Holmes."

John nodded and squeezed her hand tight. "It's beautiful."

As Wilma looked at the genuine smile on her best friend's face, she laughed, suddenly very happy to be alive. Sadly, the feeling did not last for very long.


End file.
